Guest Post – Long-Distance (Wedding) Planning

You’ve heard of long-distance relationships. Now sit up and get introduced to long-distance planning. Wedding planning, of course. Today’s guest post has been authored by my friend Aditi, or as she likes to call herself – thebongbride. Based out of Mumbai, she’s planning her Kolkatta wedding from a distance. A lot of us may get frazzled at the thought of having to plan our wedding in a completely different city. No worries though, thebongbride is here to save the day!

Travelling for your wedding is quite common these days – going back to your parental home, travelling to your native place or even having a destination wedding. But planning such a wedding can be quite complicated, especially if you have never really lived there. I’m in the midst of planning such a wedding – I’m from Mumbai and my wedding’s going to be in Kolkata, my parents’ hometown.

Given that I want to be quite hands-on for my wedding, planning this hasn’t been easy. For one, I don’t really know Kolkata, not even half as well as I do Mumbai, so I don’t know areas, shops or even nice wedding halls. Initially I was quite overwhelmed, but slowly and steadily I developed some tricks on how to get what I want:

1. Start early The biggest issue with wedding in another city is the fact that you have very limited time there. Most trips will not be for more than a few days and that too, they will be infrequent due to your existing commitments. So I’d recommend starting early, at least a year or so in advance. If you can’t travel that early, atleast start ideating about the things you want.

2. Plan before travelling Whenever you do travel to the city, ensure that you have a to-do list in hand before you reach. Make a list of the things you need for the wedding – such as venues, wedding cards, trousseau, etc. and identify the ones that you must find in that city. For instance, I had decided that the venue (obviously), decorators, weddings cards, part of my trousseau and the tatva (assortment of gifts exchanged between the families) would be from Kolkata and the remaining I’d buy from Mumbai.

3. Research Once you know what you’re looking for from that city, do some research on your available options. A simple Google search + talking to your relatives helps a lot.  Where this helps is the locals might not share your tastes, so it’s easy to get disheartened. For instance, all my relatives would show me venues that were tiny bungalows converted into reception halls. But a google search and talking to some friends got me in touch with a reception hall that was actually a hall and not two rooms, one above the other.

4. Push for what you want Any local would follow a certain way of life in that city and would stick to it and ignore the rest. What you want might be outside their comfort zone, so don’t be afraid to push for more. Research helps you achieve this without being demanding. For example, the locals are used to cotton saris with a lot of zari work but you prefer it without. Find out a place where your kind of saris are available and ask them to take you there instead.

5. Let go The above 4 points will help you get what you want, but they don’t guarantee it. At the end of the day, you wedding will be organised by others. So plan and push hard before the wedding to get them going on the right track. After that – let go. If they veer off the track, turn a blind eye. Trust me, making a big deal is only going to ruin your day, not anyone else’s. So just let it go.

The last point on letting go really is important. While no one’s asking you to to put your feet up and relax from Day 1, it is important to know that once you’ve put in your best effort – it’s time to let go. I’ve heard from enough number of people that there will be some hiccups on wedding day, but you just need to keep the bigger picture in mind and not let the small things bother you.

“Plan it like a pro, but on the ‘day of’ let it go.”